theferrett: (Meazel)
[personal profile] theferrett

A guy asked this about a convention where several boy/girl bathrooms were temporarily repurposed into unisex bathrooms. (Not all of them – you could still find your standard male/female pooping places if you were uncomfortable.)

And I’ve been thinking about that question. “Why do we need unisex bathrooms?”

Because the answer is blazingly simple if you’ve attended Penguicon: look around that convention’s room parties, and you’ll see a fair number of genderqueer and trans and cross-dressing attendees. Some of them go to conventions specifically to have a weekend where they can relax and present as whatever gender they choose and not get hassled about it.

Going to the bathroom and deciding which box to check is, presumably, a buzzkill for these people on an otherwise-supportive weekend. Hence the unisex bathrooms.

But that’s not the question the guy was asking.

He used “we,” but he meant “he.” As in, “Why do I need a unisex bathroom?” And being a cis dude who dresses like a dude, he didn’t see any need for them. As such, he concluded the convention was doing stupid things for stupid reasons.

Which was a stupid conclusion, alas.

Because this addled man’s affected with a sad disease that can strike at anyone, but tends to afflict straight cis men: They have forgotten the difference between “we” and “me.”

I personally don’t need unisex bathrooms either. But when I ask the question, “Why do we need unisex bathrooms?”, I am capable of looking around to more than my experience and doing the elementary deduction work required to uncover why. Sometimes I even ask other people than myself and the people who look like me.

Why do we need unisex bathrooms? Because not everyone’s you, dude. I have never once attended a panel discussing gun safety or libertarian philosophy, but if someone asked me the question, “Why do we need those panels?” you bet your bippie I’d pull my head out of my neon-rimmed ass and look around to other people before answering the question.

Solipsism’s a helluva drug.

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

Date: 2017-05-06 09:07 am (UTC)
marahmarie: my initials (MM) (Default)
From: [personal profile] marahmarie
Huh, I spent a lot of time in high school doing just that (I had a male tormenter who really just...was tormenting me, mostly in the halls, for a few years, so sometimes to escape him I'd duck into the ladies bathroom, then turn around and give him the finger (it had two entrances and no outer doors) from within the safety of it. He couldn't do anything about it (or, at least, he chose not to, as the room was usually packed with other girls between classes)).

So having a gendered room did come in handy for me. That said, if a public ladies room is being cleaned or is just overflowing, wherever I am, 9 times out of 10 I'll just duck into the men's room and could not care less what anyone else might think. I don't think I'd mind if men did the reverse (though I don't think I've seen it done) as long as I didn't feel creeped out by their behavior.
Edited (parentheses) Date: 2017-05-06 09:16 am (UTC)

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