Date: 2017-05-24 07:31 am (UTC)
spikethemuffin: (Default)
According to the Gottman-industrial complex of marital therapy, you're looking for an optimum ratio of five pleasant interactions to one unpleasant interaction, plus the absence of contempt, stonewalling, defensiveness, and criticism. There's also how they react to learning that you're hurt. "Oh, wow! So, you're telling me x action is hurtful to you because y? I'm so sorry! Next time this situation comes up, would q be better? No? How about g? Cool. Would you like me to try to make it up to you with sexy makeouts in the meantime?" vs. "Why are you making such a fuss over nothing?"

That having been said, if you're Googling articles on how to talk to your partner so s/he cares, you prooooooobably have an inkling of what side of the equation you should isolate your x on.
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